admiration.

i really like seeing people in their "element,"

whether it's a skill

or a certain social situation,

just whatever fits their hand like a glove.

recently i've witnessed a few:

a kindergarten teacher interacting with her students.

a musician passionately play his/her instrument.

an actress portray intense emotions on stage.

a church volunteer happily cook a meal for a few college students.

a famous Christian recording artist give up his material things to save up $$$ & sponsor a child in haiti.

i appreciate seeing people live with a passion.

awestruck.

02/25/10.

God showed up today...

in so many different small ways.

+ epiphany about hmwk + UW. doing lab during UW would mean that i wasn't trusting God.

+ text from ken.

+ steven got his plane ticket! i don't have to travel by myself! :)

+ even had time to do my hair.

+ life-calling was reaffirmed in UW today.

+ overheard conversation about debit card.

+ i did finish lab...AND w/ time to spare.

+ got a 93% on my d.psych test.

+ talk w/ craig.

+ surprise "good job brownie" saying "YAY EE!!" from ai. :)

tomorrow's my chem test.

been studying for a while.

going to sleep now, waking up at 3am, studying til 4:30am, sleeping, then waking up early again. how early i wake up depends on how much i get done...so i'm not really sleeping tonight. it's more of a few naps throughout the night. this is the 3rd time i've done that this wk. my body's crying out for the Sabbath.

Jesus loves you,

oh so much.

this i know

because I've experienced so.

goodnight world.

*hug*

hope you've been having a good wk so far.

if not, fret not.

it's almost over.

Sabbath's almost here. :)

wishful thinking.

if i had all the time in the world AND if i were rich, i'd...

• travel, travel, travel! both for the sake of traveling & experiencing new things, but also to find new photo spots
• go on medical mission trips
• take photography classes
• go through cookbooks, find recipes that I want to try, and bake/cook
• read a lot more. i have a list of books waiting to be read
• take graphic design classes
• take visual art/marketing classes
• take more bio + chem classes
• take nutrition classes
• observe interior designers
• take psychology classes (idk if i'll be able to, but i really want to take Personality & The Exceptional Child)
• search thrift shops for photo props
• actually carry out all of the photo shoot ideas that I have
• volunteer in Mrs. Vaughn’s kindergarten classroom
• go running, swimming, & play sports more
• spend more time learning how to play jazz
• attend more musicals, dances, and plays
• take more hip hop classes
• take more ballet lessons
• learn how to ballroom dance
• learn how to salsa
• continue hula praise, but also learn other types of hula

and that's not even the complete list.

*sigh*

oh, if only I could.

spring break destination:

MICHIGAN!!! :))))))))

content.

hi,

my name is ashlee megan.

i have goals, i have dreams, i have ambitions.

i am currently at la sierra,

but one day i'm going to Andrews.

i AM going to work and pay for school.

things will no longer be handed to me on a silver platter.

i'm focusing on my studies,

and i want to get into medical school

because i want to serve.

i don't know what my major is,

but i definitely want to minor in photography.

my conflicts with my parents have settled,

and our relationships are mended.

today was valentine's day,

but my heart rested easy.

i want a lot of things for my life,

but i am no longer going to

"manipulate others, force my agenda, and control the situation."

i'm trusting God

and letting go of my micro-managing.

i am going to sleep in a few minutes,

and i'm going to sleep with peace.

02/14/10. may i never again doubt that God still does send signs...& He still answers prayers. :)

good night world.

sleep easy. :)

this wknd.

i'm no longer asking for monetary assistance.

"is it an act of obedience?"

i'm not expecting things to be easy.

we'll see what happens.

stories that have new meanings for me:

+ joshua & the crossing of the river jordan

+ noah & his ark

by monday midnight, God.

fuel.

spiritual emphasis week:

+ dr. joseph's encouraging words today applied to me & even made me teary-eyed, though no one saw.

+ coach fenton's special music: Jesus loves me" jazz/swing style! how did she know that that's my JAM? :)

ken's txt: it feels so good to know that someone is willingly praying for you. :)

day 5: "Every day is an important day, and every second is a growth opportunity to deepen your character, to demonstrate love, or to depend on God."

day 6: "Life is a temporary assignment." gave me a new perspective/outlook on life.

currently: scholarship hunting, making phone calls, thinking, praying hard, trying to keep my head up.

thought that always keeps me going: "You never said it would be easy; You only said I wouldn't go alone."

"Do It Anyway"

*credited to Mother Teresa.

People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Be good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

out.

i seriously have the strongest urge right now to NOT be in cali.

i need to be away.

not that anything's wrong here,

cause,

don't get me wrong, nothing is.

i just want to experience something else.

i'm itching to go to a school out of state.

i'm pleading with God to somehow provide for Andrews.

i can't tell you how badly i want to go there.

even if i didn't know anyone there, i'd still really want to go.

i'm so interested in their programs (especially their photography program) and haven't been able to stop thinking about it.

*sigh*

40 days.

if we do it consistently & don't skip a day,

we should be finished on march 16.

DANG IT.

that's during my finals week. :((

i guess your finals week is the week before that.

AH GREAT.

*i just realized...if God works things out with AU before spring break, i'd actually be seeing you the next week!*

but anyways,

i'm determined.

EVERYday, k?

if hmwk, practice, etc. are priorities,

He should be one too.

ready? :)

day 1: CHECK.

before my day starts.

good morning, Daddy!

i love You. :)

peace, be still.

so many times i thought i knew what You wanted.

but i no longer know.

i talk to people & i become easily swayed.

one day, i'll feel so passionate about the ministry.

and another day, i feel You calling me to become a doctor.

no more running in circles.

no more emotional roller coasters.

no more talking to people.

no more trying to make things they're not.

no more trying to live up to people's expectations.

no more second-guessing.

i'm waiting on You, God.

i've surrendered, and now i'm waiting for Your voice.

i'm ready to listen.

what do You want to do with my life?

how can i have that life?

& not just any life, as pastor tim said.

but that life "more abundant"?