infatuation vs. love.

during our extremely late IM conversation the other night,
jed showed me something that he got from a magazine article a long time ago.
he said that it shaped his idea of love for the rest of his life.
i thought he was being dramatic,
but it was actually really good wisdom.

in one of those "ask susie" columns,
someone asked what the difference between love and infatuation was.
this is how the anonymous answer-provider replied:

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.

Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away! I can't risk losing you!"

Love says, "Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end -- in intimacy.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and that makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.

Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person.


his/her reply blew my mind away.
it also pointed out some flaws in my thoughts and actions that i want to work on.
crosswalk church's motto is "learning to love well."
that's what i'm going to be working on this new year.
learning to love well.

preparation.

started studying for my DATs today!
not a whole lot, but i started going through the biology section.
my dad recommended that i start studying the PAT section since no one will teach me that.
i just have to practice and practice.
i'll learn bio, chem, and o.chem in school, but no one will go over the PAT section.
that's very true...so i guess i'll start that section soon.

heiba's surprise birthday dinner tonight was a success!
we ate so well! the food was so yummy. mmm. :)

thank you, Father, for amazing friends.
they are Your treasures to me.
and thank you for time to prepare.
thank you, also, for giving me purpose.
for allowing me to be excited about what i'm going into.
it's a good feeling. :)
i love you, Daddy.
amen.

=/

experiencing an emotional ache for multiple reasons.
things will be better tomorrow, i know.
so maybe i should just sleep so that today will end faster?
:(
i hate feeling like this.

thoughts and secrets.

today was a pretty big day for me for several reasons.

one of them is that i know without a doubt that dentistry is my niche. given the specific wants, needs, and characteristics that I have, dentistry is the perfect fit. it's what God created me to be! it's such a satisfying feeling. when i shadowed different doctors in the past (HIV specialist, internist, pediatrician, PT, etc.) i only shadowed a few hours at a time, never the whole day. but today i spent the ENTIRE working day with uncle ken and LOVED it. and if i wasn't tired and if he had more patients, i would have stayed longer. all of the other shadowing dates that i scheduled for this break are not burdens to me. they're not something that i have to do and have to get over with. they are things that i genuinely look forward to! it's so crazy!

there's so much more i could say about the things that i realized today regarding dentistry, but i want to go sleep soon, so i'll end with that.

Daddy,
....
*happy sigh*
thank you
thank you, thank you, thank you.
for answering my prayers.
for Your timing.
for Your goodness.
for....everything.
i thought the day would never come when i would decide on an occupation
and actually feel at peace about it.
but i do.
the day has come.
and not only do i feel at peace about it....
i'm SUPER excited about it. more than i ever thought i could be!
this is it.
this is really it.
& i'm so happy right now.
thank you, thank you, thank you. :)
amen.

*ps. i think i'm really starting to like you.
like...really. :)
^ whatever You want, God....but I really hope that it’s what i want too.

smiles.

today.
was.
amazing.

christmas cantata, my very first flash mob experience at nordstrom (insider and witness), amazing thai food, the BEST shaved ice i've ever tasted, christmas social, Tron, and everything in-between. :)

what a memorable day. :)

thanks for bringing me home safely, Daddy. it was pretty scary coming back in the rain that long of a distance, but thank you for your traveling mercies. and thank you so much for an amazing day. :)
amen.

g'night world!

breath of fresh air.

ohmyGOODNESS.
i LOVE christmas break!!!
i love not having to study for hours on end every night while skipping out on sleep.
i LOVE being able to just relax and hang out and spend time with friends and family without having to worry about making up for studying time later.
i'm seriously so happy right now.
:))))))))
yesterday & today were amazing.
& tomorrow i'm finally gonna go SHOPPING!
something that i've been aching to do for awhile but just haven't had the time.
i've been waiting for tomorrow's shopping date with my mom literally all week!
so excited. :)))

these next three weeks of break are going to be busy,
but it'll be a nice balance of productivity and relax time.
i'm def. looking forward to it. :)

thank you, Father, for things like this that can make me happy.
i really appreciate the fact that You care about my happiness
and that You created me to appreciate the little and the big things in life.
living is so much more enjoyable that way.
thank you for all of the blessing that You've poured out...
a wonderful mom, good food, good friends, quality time with people that matter to me, phone conversations...
all of those things mean a lot to me.
and thank you especially for bringing me through finals week.
i am so glad that it's over.
i love you, Father.
thank you, thank you, thank you.
:)

1000mph.

my head is swimming right now.
i'm so overwhelmed.
sometimes i wish that i knew from the very beginning that i wanted to go into dentistry.
i would have done things so differently.
i would have doubled up in bio & chem last year and taken physics & o.chem this year.
then i could take the DAT this summer and apply for LLU my junior year.
that way,
(if i got accepted),
I could have the option of starting dental school after i graduate
opposed to waiting an additional year for them to process my application.
i would have also taken trig last year instead of waiting.
(i thought i could skip it at AU and just go straight into calc.
so i didn't want to take trig here).
i wouldn't have gone through all of that trouble of even applying to andrews.
i would have stayed in the honors program so that i wouldn't have to make up any classes.

*sigh*
i know that God's timing is perfect and that in hindsight,
i'll see His divine hand every step of the way.
He is good, and i trust His plans.
i trust what He's doing in my life
and i trust the paths that He takes me down to get to where i need to go.
...
but sometimes that requires more faith than i can have at the moment.
this is one of those moments. =/
there's no reason for me to stress out,
i know that...
but i totally am.
there's so much on my mind...
i need someone to help me clear things up!
i can't wait for my appointments with my advisers!
i feel like i need to talk to them now.

i'm also in the process of contacting multiple dentists so that i can shadow them this winter break,
perhaps even starting next week cause i don't have any finals on monday.

i'm super apprehensive about next quarter.
hope i'm making the right decisions and not biting off more than i can chew.
next quarter is going to be HUGE. =/
1) the hardest quarter of bio (at least the hardest teacher)
2) i'm taking a full load (18 units) plus chambers (possibly) plus research
3) the classes that i'll be taking will have homework after every class period. that's going to be a sharp transition from this quarter. the classes that i'm taking this quarter don't have homework everyday, and i'm ALREADY spending so much time studying bio and physics.

AGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
QWPEROIFJALS;DKFJASLDFJAL;SKJ.
someone save me.
:(

sabbath blessings.

i love friday nights. no matter how my week has gone, friday nights ever since school started have been AMAZING.
tonight was the annual LSU candlelight service, presented by the music department. beautiful christmas music was performed. made my heart happy. :)
then boba cafe with good company.
and talking about the future with amanda.
thank you, God, for good friends, La Sierra, and especially Your sabbath.
thank you for caring about the little stuff that makes me happy. :)

i'm excited for amanda's birthday party tomorrow. :) san gabriel/alhambra + LA!

good night world! better get some shuteye.
happy sabbath. :)