...it'll be you."
-amanda hutauruk.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
conclusions.
while analyzing myself and observing other people and situations, i've come to realize these few things:
1. people don't always tell you everything. --> there may be more to it than they let on, whether that's a good or a bad thing.
2. people don't always mean what they say. and they don't say everything that they mean.
3. people can change their mind.
but even more than that,
3. God is good. all the time. and all the time, God is good.
*remind me of that when i forget.
1. people don't always tell you everything. --> there may be more to it than they let on, whether that's a good or a bad thing.
2. people don't always mean what they say. and they don't say everything that they mean.
3. people can change their mind.
but even more than that,
3. God is good. all the time. and all the time, God is good.
*remind me of that when i forget.
Monday, February 7, 2011
:(
unmotivated.
extremely tired.
sad.
angry.
guilty.
confused.
frustrated.
disappointed.
stressed.
...tonight is just not a good night.
extremely tired.
sad.
angry.
guilty.
confused.
frustrated.
disappointed.
stressed.
...tonight is just not a good night.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
JR/SR BC '11.
i'm too tired to form complete sentences.
in a few words/phrases? how i felt about it?
amazing. inspiring. GOD. exhausting. fulfilling. a blessing.
one of the best Bible conferences that I've attended, if not the best...and I've been to 4 so far.
thank you, God for giving me this opportunity.
i'm amazed.
thanks for coming through.
i love you.
so much.
amen.
*knocking out.
g'night world.
in a few words/phrases? how i felt about it?
amazing. inspiring. GOD. exhausting. fulfilling. a blessing.
one of the best Bible conferences that I've attended, if not the best...and I've been to 4 so far.
thank you, God for giving me this opportunity.
i'm amazed.
thanks for coming through.
i love you.
so much.
amen.
*knocking out.
g'night world.
Monday, January 17, 2011
You hold my world.
wow.
so that didn't go as i had imagined exactly.
but God, in His mercy, was in control of it all.
that conversation couldn't have gone any better
and I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any other way.
*happy sigh.
:)
thank, You, Father
for holding my world in Your hand.
so that didn't go as i had imagined exactly.
but God, in His mercy, was in control of it all.
that conversation couldn't have gone any better
and I wouldn't have wanted it to happen any other way.
*happy sigh.
:)
thank, You, Father
for holding my world in Your hand.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
emotionally exhausted.
this has been one heck of a week.
...
i can't believe i'm going to do this.
i hope we can talk tonight.
...
*sigh.
my only comfort?
one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite gospel artists
(who i was blessed enough to see live today!):
Take my heart. Lord, will you take my heart as I surrender to Your will? I confess You are my righteousness. And until You move me I'll be still and know that You are God. You hold my world in Your hands, You hold my world in Your hands and
I am amazed at Your love. I am amazed that You love me. You hold my world in Your hands, You hold my world in Your hands, and I'm not afraid--my world is safe in Your Hands. Take my life. Lord, will You take my life? You are the reason that I live. I believe You have forgiven me and by Your grace I will forgive and know that You are God. You won't let go of me, You won't let go of me, You won't let go of me, You won't let go--Never let go. You will take care of me, You will take care of me, You will take care of me, You will take care--Always take care. You hold my world in Your hands, You hold my world, and You won't let go.
*I'm holding onto that promise, Lord. because that's the only thing that's keeping me going right now.
...
i can't believe i'm going to do this.
i hope we can talk tonight.
...
*sigh.
my only comfort?
one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite gospel artists
(who i was blessed enough to see live today!):
Take my heart. Lord, will you take my heart as I surrender to Your will? I confess You are my righteousness. And until You move me I'll be still and know that You are God. You hold my world in Your hands, You hold my world in Your hands and
I am amazed at Your love. I am amazed that You love me. You hold my world in Your hands, You hold my world in Your hands, and I'm not afraid--my world is safe in Your Hands. Take my life. Lord, will You take my life? You are the reason that I live. I believe You have forgiven me and by Your grace I will forgive and know that You are God. You won't let go of me, You won't let go of me, You won't let go of me, You won't let go--Never let go. You will take care of me, You will take care of me, You will take care of me, You will take care--Always take care. You hold my world in Your hands, You hold my world, and You won't let go.
*I'm holding onto that promise, Lord. because that's the only thing that's keeping me going right now.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
keirsey temperament test.
so i had to take the keirsey temperament test for homework for our honors class. i was impressed. the results were pretty accurate. i like taking personality tests cause it's almost scary...something that's not a person/not alive knows who you are after asking a couple of questions. :)
anyways, if you're interested...here were my results:
Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the Guardian.
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.
Guardians at Work
As a Guardian, you enjoy working as a valued member of a team, whether you are leading it or following a credible leader. You like to work with people who carry their weight. You appreciate having clear-cut responsibilities and being recognized for your dedication and achievements. Your natural traits are those that employers have traditionally valued - and that successful companies still respect. You are responsible and loyal to an organization once you've signed on.
In any environment, including your work place, you are usually focused on making people happy and facilitating harmonious relationships. You often lend "aid and comfort" by drawing on a combination of tradition, past experience, and the direction of established authority. In your ideal job, people would give of themselves and work toward the good of the group.
Guardians pride themselves on being dependable, helpful, and hard-working.
Guardians make loyal mates, responsible parents, and stabilizing leaders.
Guardians tend to be dutiful, cautious, humble, and focused on credentials and traditions.
Guardians are concerned citizens who trust authority, join groups, seek security, prize gratitude, and dream of meting out justice.
interesting...
take yours & find out what you are!
just google keirsey temperament test!
anyways, if you're interested...here were my results:
Your Keirsey Temperament Sorter Results indicates that your personality type is that of the Guardian.
Guardians are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply -- and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly -- they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population, and a good thing, because they usually end up doing all the indispensable but thankless jobs everyone else takes for granted.
Guardians at Work
As a Guardian, you enjoy working as a valued member of a team, whether you are leading it or following a credible leader. You like to work with people who carry their weight. You appreciate having clear-cut responsibilities and being recognized for your dedication and achievements. Your natural traits are those that employers have traditionally valued - and that successful companies still respect. You are responsible and loyal to an organization once you've signed on.
In any environment, including your work place, you are usually focused on making people happy and facilitating harmonious relationships. You often lend "aid and comfort" by drawing on a combination of tradition, past experience, and the direction of established authority. In your ideal job, people would give of themselves and work toward the good of the group.
Guardians pride themselves on being dependable, helpful, and hard-working.
Guardians make loyal mates, responsible parents, and stabilizing leaders.
Guardians tend to be dutiful, cautious, humble, and focused on credentials and traditions.
Guardians are concerned citizens who trust authority, join groups, seek security, prize gratitude, and dream of meting out justice.
interesting...
take yours & find out what you are!
just google keirsey temperament test!
Saturday, January 1, 2011
welcome, 2011. :)
this year's new year's celebration was most definitely atypical...there were no parties/get-togethers to attend because new year's eve fell on the sabbath. at first i was really bummed about that...no plans for new year's eve? just staying at home?? what??
but, funny, that ended up being the best thing. i was so sleepy and was able to take a 2.5 hour nap. my family and i were able to enjoy the comforts of our own home, eating dinner at our leisure, spending time with each other, and we didn't have to be in the cold and on the road with a bunch of drunk drivers.
but the best part of being at home for new year's eve? after the countdown and everything, we were able to pray together. to be honest, i was feeling kind of blah and indifferent towards new year's. my mom and dad were cheerful about it, but this was me:
..................
needless to say, after just having woken up and still being semi-bummed because we didn't do anything exciting, i was not in the best of moods. after the countdown, we give each other hugs and kisses (me doing it half-heartedly), watched TV for a little bit before deciding we weren't really feelin' it, and my parents decided to go to sleep while i finished reading LLU's articles in the Recorder (which were really interesting, btw!) and JJ finished watching Prince Caspian. i guess i was sulking, in a way. i knew that other people were out celebrating, having a good time....but i was at home....doing nothing.
a few minutes later, my mom rushed downstairs and said "wait, we need to have a prayer before we go to bed!"
this was me:
-______________________-
i was not in the mood to have a "feel-good" prayer...i kinda just wanted to be left alone. but we all sat in a circle and held hands. my mom designated my dad as the ending prayer, her as the starting prayer, and asked if anyone else wanted to pray. there was silence for a few moments, then jj finally said "i guess i'll pray" but nothing came out of me. like i said, i wasn't in the mood.
my mom started praying, starting generally, as usual, thanking God for what He's done for us this past year. she continued like that for a little bit, but then she started going around the circle and prayed for us individually, dedicating us one-by-one and praying for specific things in our lives. she started praying for my dad, his role as the man of the house, and for his practice. then she went to me, my schooling, my relationships, and my pursuit of dentistry. jj was next and she prayed for his schooling, his roles in and out of the house, and all of the things that he's involved with. lastly she prayed for herself, her role as a mom, and her family.
it was in these moments that my attitude did a complete turn-around. i was sincerely touched by the way that my mom prayed for specific things in each of our lives, taking time on every single one of us. i can't begin to describe how loved and special her prayer made me feel. i mean, who wouldn't?? if someone took the time to pray for you specifically and dedicate you in front of other people, wouldn't you feel loved? those moments made me realize that the fact that my mom knew what is important to me and what exactly to pray for is a direct product of the type of relationship that we have. that realization made me really glad. we've been through a lot together, and i'm so thankful that we're as close as we are. her words reminded me again of why i love her so much.
after she finished, jj sent up a beautiful prayer as well. he, too, prayed for each one of us specifically and i was so touched. when he finished, i asked if i could pray (completely different response from just a few minutes earlier!). i then poured out my heart to God in front of my family, genuinely thanking Him for the treasure of my dad, mom, and brother, as well as for new year's eve landing on the Sabbath. as i prayed, i realized how incredibly special that fact truly was. i followed suit and prayed for my dad, my mom, and my brother, thanking God for specific things that they contribute to the family and specific ways that they affect my life, as well as praying for the other roles that they have to play in their daily lives. i haven't prayed like that in a long time, and it really did something to me.
i now have this peace and this happiness that i can't describe. though i really didn't want to at first, that prayer was the best thing that happened to me today. it was the best way possible that i could have started out the new year. while at first i thought i was going to start it off with a pretty bad attitude, i now know that i started it right--i did it with the most important people in my life: my family and Best Friend. :)
*my fb post that i want to pass onto you:
what an INCREDIBLE and special thing for the first few minutes of 2011 to start on the Sabbath--God's day! as you approach this new year, may you do it with confidence, knowing that He will perform miracles in your life, endure hardships with you, and love you no matter what. happy new year, everyone. :)
but, funny, that ended up being the best thing. i was so sleepy and was able to take a 2.5 hour nap. my family and i were able to enjoy the comforts of our own home, eating dinner at our leisure, spending time with each other, and we didn't have to be in the cold and on the road with a bunch of drunk drivers.
but the best part of being at home for new year's eve? after the countdown and everything, we were able to pray together. to be honest, i was feeling kind of blah and indifferent towards new year's. my mom and dad were cheerful about it, but this was me:
..................
needless to say, after just having woken up and still being semi-bummed because we didn't do anything exciting, i was not in the best of moods. after the countdown, we give each other hugs and kisses (me doing it half-heartedly), watched TV for a little bit before deciding we weren't really feelin' it, and my parents decided to go to sleep while i finished reading LLU's articles in the Recorder (which were really interesting, btw!) and JJ finished watching Prince Caspian. i guess i was sulking, in a way. i knew that other people were out celebrating, having a good time....but i was at home....doing nothing.
a few minutes later, my mom rushed downstairs and said "wait, we need to have a prayer before we go to bed!"
this was me:
-______________________-
i was not in the mood to have a "feel-good" prayer...i kinda just wanted to be left alone. but we all sat in a circle and held hands. my mom designated my dad as the ending prayer, her as the starting prayer, and asked if anyone else wanted to pray. there was silence for a few moments, then jj finally said "i guess i'll pray" but nothing came out of me. like i said, i wasn't in the mood.
my mom started praying, starting generally, as usual, thanking God for what He's done for us this past year. she continued like that for a little bit, but then she started going around the circle and prayed for us individually, dedicating us one-by-one and praying for specific things in our lives. she started praying for my dad, his role as the man of the house, and for his practice. then she went to me, my schooling, my relationships, and my pursuit of dentistry. jj was next and she prayed for his schooling, his roles in and out of the house, and all of the things that he's involved with. lastly she prayed for herself, her role as a mom, and her family.
it was in these moments that my attitude did a complete turn-around. i was sincerely touched by the way that my mom prayed for specific things in each of our lives, taking time on every single one of us. i can't begin to describe how loved and special her prayer made me feel. i mean, who wouldn't?? if someone took the time to pray for you specifically and dedicate you in front of other people, wouldn't you feel loved? those moments made me realize that the fact that my mom knew what is important to me and what exactly to pray for is a direct product of the type of relationship that we have. that realization made me really glad. we've been through a lot together, and i'm so thankful that we're as close as we are. her words reminded me again of why i love her so much.
after she finished, jj sent up a beautiful prayer as well. he, too, prayed for each one of us specifically and i was so touched. when he finished, i asked if i could pray (completely different response from just a few minutes earlier!). i then poured out my heart to God in front of my family, genuinely thanking Him for the treasure of my dad, mom, and brother, as well as for new year's eve landing on the Sabbath. as i prayed, i realized how incredibly special that fact truly was. i followed suit and prayed for my dad, my mom, and my brother, thanking God for specific things that they contribute to the family and specific ways that they affect my life, as well as praying for the other roles that they have to play in their daily lives. i haven't prayed like that in a long time, and it really did something to me.
i now have this peace and this happiness that i can't describe. though i really didn't want to at first, that prayer was the best thing that happened to me today. it was the best way possible that i could have started out the new year. while at first i thought i was going to start it off with a pretty bad attitude, i now know that i started it right--i did it with the most important people in my life: my family and Best Friend. :)
*my fb post that i want to pass onto you:
what an INCREDIBLE and special thing for the first few minutes of 2011 to start on the Sabbath--God's day! as you approach this new year, may you do it with confidence, knowing that He will perform miracles in your life, endure hardships with you, and love you no matter what. happy new year, everyone. :)
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