sabbath school: pt. III.

i'm actually gonna skip the "found proapt" part

& go straight to the "actual testimony" part.

*steven, this is the story that i was going to tell you a long time ago...the one right before you left for vegas.

& i'm going to write as if you, the reader, were sitting in our sabbath school room...

so this past year, senior year, i had a lot of decisions to make.

especially college decisions.

i had narrowed it down to 3 colleges that i would decide between:

1. PUC. pacific union college

2. LSU. la sierra university

3. SAU. southern adventist university

in february, our school had a thing set-up called college days at PUC. we got to live on campus for a few days, meet teachers, sit in on a few classes, experience dorm life, etc.

i had actually been to PUC the christmas of my junior year & fell i love with the campus. so i was excited to go up there again for college days.

the campus was beautiful, just like i remembered it. the trees were so vibrantly green, the mountain air was so crisp and clear, the dew on the leaves were so...ahh. :) i have a thing for nature. it creates an environment that's so easy for me to talk to God. and PUC was smack dab in the middle of nature. i remember waking up early one morning to go to the caf. for breakfast. i was walking by myself, and i looked at my surroundings and just started having a conversation with God. that hadn't happened in a long time.

after college days, i kept an open mind as to where to go to college, but PUC was at the very top of my list. i really wanted to go there.

between january and april, i applied for scholarships to both PUC and LSU, just to keep my options open. i was writing essays, filling out applications, creating vitaes (which are like resumes), trying to meet deadlines...ugh, it wasn't fun.

LSU had this new scholarship called the presidential scholarship that they just started last year. 4 people are awarded basically a full ride. that's a HUGE amount of money. one year of tuition is around $28K, so multiply that by 4 & that scholarship is worth around $112K.

college is so expensive. one of my high school teachers is STILL paying off college debt. (she's young though..so yeah.) but that scholarship is worth a lot. basically the only thing that the recipients would have to pay for is books and dorming.

anyways, my mom pushed me to apply for that scholarship. it was a lot of work, and in the middle of it, i was REALLY not feeling it. i compared myself to public high school students and felt that i didn't have a chance. public schools have so many more opportunities than private school students do. they have so many more clubs, AP classes, extra curricular activities...their resume is a lot more impressive than mine. i felt like i didn't have a chance at ever getting that scholarship. but mom encouraged me to try anyways. "you'll never know if you never try." so i worked really hard on my essay, editing it like 20 times, and perfected my vitae.

while working on all of this, i was getting more and more excited about PUC. i found out that 99% of my best friends (not just friends or acquaintances...my BEST friends) decided to go there too, so that made me want to go to PUC even more. but the whole time, i had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that i wasn't going to PUC. in january at a church new year's party, i was talking with des, one of our unofficial youth pastors. he told me that when he was deciding on colleges, he had everything set for a certain school. his classes, his schedule, everything. and a month before school started, God changed his plans and he went to a different university. that story always stuck with me, because i had a feeling that it would happen to me. but i didn't like that because i'm the type of person that needs to have a set plan. i don't like uncertainty. i begged God to let me go to PUC--i loved the campus, the classes, and the people closest to me were going there. but i also told Him that if He really wanted me to go somewhere else, i would. i would struggle with Him, but i would go. i also told Him that the only way i would go to LSU was if i got the scholarship. then i would know for sure that i wasn't meant to be at PUC.

sabbath school: pt. II.

oh gosh, i'm super tired right now. =/

but i have to write at least a little bit.

cause if i don't discipline myself to do it right now,

then i never will.

but before i continue my story,

i need to give a shout-out to ambyr.

hahhahhahahahahhhahhha.

thanks suelynn for the 11 comments that you left

after reading all my posts. x]

you're just that kind of girl huh? ;)

so anyways,

where did i leave off?

ahh, there..

so i told God, "okay, i'll give that testimony that i've been wanting to share."

but as i was planning what i was going to say & such,

i had an epiphany.

more like a reality check.

my relationship with God hadn't been the best.

i'd been skipping out on worships and prayers lately.

& this thought came to mind:

"how in the world am i going to be expected to lead others closer to God,

when i myself am not close to Him right now?"

it's like the blind leading the blind.

so i decided that if i was going to in any way lead out in sabbath school the next day,

i needed to spend some quality time with the One that i was going to be pointing people to.

my sleep deprivation headaches were setting in, so i decided to wake up early the next morning, spend QT with my Father, & then plan sabbath school.

so i did.

i got up at 7:15 am, grabbed my Bible & something small to eat,

and took it to our table outside in our backyard.

that devotional time was a much-needed reconnection.

like a re-fueling.

a "going back to the hub."

for those of you who were at PUC college days.

it brought me back to those days when i used to sit outside every morning & have worships in our backyard.

those were intimate moments.

no one was awake yet.

the hustle and bustle of getting ready for school hadn't started yet.

it was just me, God, and the light spring breeze as an added bonus.

He always felt just a little bit closer during those times.

it made me so sad that all this time, i've been missing out on that.

agh, i'm getting headaches again. i need to go sleep.

note to self on where to pick up:

+ found proapt.

+ actual testimony.

+ kareem.

+ personal message.

sabbath school: pt. I.

so i've been really lazy with updating lately.

there's so much that i have to say,

and that's exactly why i don't want to update.

it's too much. x]

so i've been putting it off, not wanting to deal with it.

ugh, great.

i realize that i am under no obligation whatsoever to update.

i mean, it's not like i HAVE to do any of this.

but i really do have to tell you about sabbath school.

and how amazing God is. :))

however, there's a LOT that i have to say, and rather than putting it all in one blog post,

i'm gonna separate it into different parts.

it's just easier to read.

...& it's neater. :)

so part I, here we go.

i was asked to teach sabbath school for the youth this past saturday because their regular youth pastor was gonna be up north for the wknd. whenever i have to speak for something, teach sabbath school, do children's story, etc., i usually spend the week thinking about it and praying for inspiration, but i don't actually hammer out everything til the night before.

(heh, probably not the best plan...but anyways, this time was no exception.)

usually, i have an idea of what i want to talk about a few days before i have to speak. but this time, i had absolutely nothing. i started to panic a little bit by friday, but at the same time, this has happened before and i knew that God would come through for me. well anyways, i wasn't getting any ideas on my own, so i thought that maybe i should txt some people about my predicament & God would use them to inspire me.

sure enough, He did. i txtd sid & he suggested that i give a testimony. i had thought about it previously in the wk, but kind of put that idea in the back of my mind. when sid brought it up, it was like a confirmation to me, so i said, okay God, that's what i'll do.

*agh i have a headache...i'll pick this up tomorrow.

note to self:

+ realization in bed

+ early sat. morning. QT w/ God...describe. found proapt.

+ actual testimony

+ activity. kareem. personal message.

funny today.

today was a full day & "i am fun..ny today"...er, i had fun today. hahhahhaha. x]

but right now, my spirits aren't that great. i hate thinking. :(

maybe if i recap the day, i'll remember the good times & be happy again?

let's try..

+ ambyr came over after she dropped off taylr & we took jj to his first day of high school.

+ went to target while waiting for steven to wake up.

+ went to steven's house to make b.fast, but then relocated to the mins' & borrowed their kitchen.

the menu:

a) omelettes with spinach, tomatoes, onions, & mushrooms + amazing salsa.

b) blueberry pancakes & chocolate pancakes.

mmm. :)

took us 2 hours to cook (HAHHAHAHA) so we didn't eat til like 11-something...almost lunch time. x] i fried the eggs, ambyr did the pancakes, & jon min helped w/ the prep.

nic & john were useless. -________-

just kidding. :)

+ brought food over to steven's house, ate, & hung out there til he had to leave.

+ took jon jon back to our house. he & jj watched youtube while ambyr & i took a nap downstairs.

+ ate an early dinner.

+ went to the mins house again. listened to steven's recording of "because he lives" on their electronic piano.

+ took a detour to rite aid to get some 99 cent ice cream.

+ dropped off jj & jon jon at their first handshake.

+ went to hulda crooks w/ ambyr, but didn't stay for very long bc a bee was infatuated with us (esp. ambyr) & she rejected his love...so we left. x]

+ chilled at stater bros.

+ dropped off ambyr at her car.

+ practice at azure hills for homebase.

that did make me feel better. :)

i'm ready to go sleep.

i got 4 hours of sleep last night & 5.5 hours the 2 nights before.

*to steven: glad that you touched down in chicago safely! i tell myself that it's not goodbye. it's just a really long see you later. we'll miss you bud. :)

ups&downs.

today was filled with a lot of peaks :) and a lot of lows :(.

+ got my 2nd HPV shot. :( but it didn't hurt as much as the first one. :) my arm's a little sore though. =/

+ bawled my eyes out cause i thought that yet another one of my best friends was going to be leaving in just a matter of days on such short notice. :((((( thankfully she isn't. :)))))

+ went to pick up my brother from volunteering at the hospital. made an effort to leave on time cause i didn't want him to wait outside for me. however, he didn't tell me that he was going to be late so i ended up waiting for 45 min. for him. :(

+ my friends from glendale came down to visit for a little while. :)) played monopoly at hulda crooks (i'm seriously so bad at that game -________-), ate dinner at my house (thank you mom for cooking :)), went to yogurtlicious cause i was craving some (saw heiba & paulyna, and shanni & tyler there)

+ thought i saw sid's car, realized that it wasn't, & it hit me that he's not even in cali anymore. :(((((

+ visited the mins, biff, & jeff fry. laughed SO hard. "*looks down* those are my brothers...." hahahhahaa. x]

+ had a sidewalk moment. :))))) he actually choked up & got misty eyed in front of me. :(( *thank you for trusting me with your vulnerability. that made my day.

+ went over to steven's to help him...."pack" hahahhahhahahahhha x] boy, i'm so helpful huh? well....you know....i'm just that kind of girl. :)

need to get some sleep cause i've been deprived of it lately. =/

LLA kids start school tomorrow!

have a good first day guys. :)

undelivered letters.

to: __________.

you say i helped you, but it was a 2-way street. thank you for coming over tonight. i'm glad that we both got to "sit on the sidewalk" together instead of "on the corner". i shouldn't sit in chairs when i'm around you cause i'll just fall off them in a matter of minutes laughing. x] & hey! we got to burn some calories tonight! YEEEEAAAH. :) hahhahhaha. ily "brestfriend." :)

to: __________.

i miss you so much, you don't even know. but i don't want to tell you that because i don't want you to get annoyed of me. why did i only get to see you for 15 min. last night before you left?? i hate saying goodbyes & see-you-laters. can you just come back? please? i really miss you. more than i thought i would. :(

to: __________.

i am really proud of you. you're actually growing up. i just sat there on your couch today in awe and wonder at how you're allowing God to use you. i'll be here when things get hard k? you're in my prayers. :)

to: __________.

i wish things could go back to the way they used to be. i feel like there's an unspoken tension between us. but i don't want to give you up. good things don't come easy right? i just wish that you would talk to me. i know that communication is a 2-way street, but i feel like what i put out isn't reciprocated. so i don't feel like trying sometimes.

to: __________.

i want so badly to hear you say that to me. why is that so hard? you give it to everyone else. why do i have to be different? do you understand how much it would mean to me? :(

ashlee, how's your spirit?

it's really up :), & it's really down :(.

latest photoshop prjct:

OH MY GOSH.

so i just found out that the show that i'm going to on september 6 is going to have a LOT more than just quest crew!

dude man!

here's a list of the performers:

+ wong fu productions

+ far* east movement

+ quest dance crew

+ david choi

+ kina grannis

+ bruno mars

+ gabe bondoc + leejay + passion

+ kev jumba

DUUUUUUDEEE!!!

& we're getting VIP passes, so i'll get a t-shirt & we get priority to meet and greet the artists!

i'm SO EXCITED!!!!

:))))))))))))))))))))))