new directions.

i can't even BEGIN to tell you what today was like. if i had to give you a quick summary, i'd have to say it was something like...pure inspiration, Divine intervention, & purpose. God totally planned my day out, i have no doubt. it's probably because of my new prayer:

"God, in all that I do today, I want to honor You.

I want to integrate You into everything:

my thoughts, my walk, the way that I talk to people,

the pictures that I take, everything.

I want all of it to honor and glorify You."

and thus,

today.

incident #1: an encounter with Harvey Lee.

incident #2: CNN heroes // new directions.

i've been praying for some sort of direction, and i think God gave it to me today. i think i want to go into the medical field. it's something that i was avoiding, quite honestly. i don't like all the schooling. it seems too hard & too long. i'd have to take a bunch of science & math classes that i loathe. medical students have no lives. they're just constantly studying. and all those MCATs, boards, & whatnot...months of studying & so much to know. SO STRESSFUL. i'm an easily stressed out person.

so while at the gym tonight, i was watching CNN heroes on the TV. i've been waiting for it to air and was pleasantly surprised that i happened to go to the gym the day and time that it was showing. while watching, i couldn't help but notice the camera angles and all of the editing that they did. i was so interested in how they filmed each person's story and how they compiled everything together...snapshots of the featured person's life and work place, the interviews of the people that they helped, just everything. i was so into it.

the plaque that they gave everyone also caught my attention...the material that was used, the font, the size of the text, the placement of the text, what words were chosen to be on the plaque..

as i was running on the treadmill, it struck me that not many people think about the people that helped to make the show...more specifically the camera crew and the designers of the plaque. i thought about how amazing it must've been to go to all parts of the world to film these people, their work, and the people's lives that they've touched. there were heroes from zimbabwe, NY, iraq, new orleans...all over the place! i was imagining how rewarding it must have been for the camera crew to meet and interact with those people and catch it all on camera.

it made me realize that they were producing something that would cause thousands of people to be inspired. there were hundreds of people at the awards ceremony and it was being televised across the country, so hundreds more people would see it. the camera was being used as a means to share something good with the world. i was thinking that television has become so corrupt. there's either a lot of trash or the news is telling depressing stories. but this show, CNN heroes, brought hope that there's still good left in the world. and it couldn't have been done with cameras.

that train of thought led me to think that God can use my camera to do something good. i've been noticing that it feels like i've been going full throttle with photography and editing and such. i'm actually kind of surprised at how much i've been pursuing it. i mean, i know that i loved it a while ago, but it's been becoming...part of me. i don't quite know how to explain it, but life has become one huge photo op. every time i look at something, i don't look at it as what it is. i see it has a photo spot. the other day i was at UCI and while walking around campus, all these different photo spots were literally SCREAMING out at me. i was so sad cause we had to move fast and i wasn't able to take as many pictures as i wanted. and then a few days ago, i was looking at the costco cookbook that they give out for free every year. i wasn't looking at the recipes. i was looking at the pictures and was paying attention to every single detail that made that picture...the placement of the food, the different utensils used, the colors of the utensils and dishes, the use or absence of placemats, which direction the lighting came from, you get the picture. and yesterday while driving home from church, i took notice of how wonderful the lighting was at this certain place, so my brother and i went home to change, then we drove back to the place so that i could have a quick photoshoot before the sun set.

i'm not kidding, photography has become my LIFE. i never knew what a passion was until recently. photography is my PASSION. and it's weird, cause it almost feels like...it's not me that's taking or editing the pictures and pursuing this full-speed. it feels like Someone Else is. like...He's somehow preparing me to use my skills/passion for something for Him. that's honestly what it feels like. and i know that that sounds crazy and you probably won't believe me, but i'm speaking the honest-to-goodness truth. it feels like God is going to use my photography for His purpose. and i'm really happy about that because that's what i started praying last week. i've started to pray before my photoshoots. i pray that my pictures will glorify God and that they will bring honor to Him. and now, it just feels like...idk. it's just not me that's taking or editing the pictures. it feels like He is. i'm just the means as to how the finished product comes out.

i had a conversation with my friend a few weeks ago and something that he said has been ringing in my head. he said that the medical field is an amazing opportunity for ministry. there're medical mission trips to go and help people. and in the health field, you sort of "heal" people, and that opens up doorways to share Jesus. people wonder how you can do that. it starts conversations and presents opportunities to share your faith. (i suppose there are a lot of jobs not in healthcare that can do that, but just humor me.)

that got me to thinking that if i went into healthcare, that would give me an opportunity to go on a medical mission trip. and after watching Patch Adams and tonight's CNN heroes, i realize that sick people just need something to make them smile. they need hope. they need distractions from their sickness. they need to be happy.

enter Keeka, my camera. pictures make people smile. photoshoots distract from bad things. have you ever taken a picture of a little kid and showed it to them? they'll immediately say "take more, take more! take a picture of me doing this!" then right after you snap the picture, they'll run up to you, anxious to see the finished product. pictures not only capture smiles, they create smiles. it's kind of a crazy plan, & who knows it might not work out, but this is just me thinking: if i ever went on a medical mission trip, i would bring my camera to take pictures of the patients. i would use photography as a means to allow them to stop thinking about their illness for a while and just enjoy life for a few moments again.

i've been praying so long for direction, for God to somehow hint at what He wants me to do.

then that prayer got revised into "God, show me how I can most glorify You with my life and my occupation. How can I best serve you?"

I think He's slowly revealing that to me.

and it's the most amazing feeling in the world.

:))))

"aim high and glorify God in all that you do."

-mom.